MORE WORDS

Since becoming a parent for the first time ever, over 3 months ago, I have learned that there are a whole new suite of experiences that go along with being a new parent.  It has also occurred to me that some of these experiences have no words or names for themselves.

NEW................


DESITINGER:  A finger that has been desitinized.  Usually the index finger of a diaper changer, this variety of finger is the result of repeated applications of desitin to the baby's bottom.  The desitin is not water soluble, thus, quick rinses under cold water while holding the baby in the other arm are rarely sufficient to remove the desitin, leaving behind the 'desitinger'.

DIAPALOGUE:  Dialogue between an infant and the diaper changer, usually accompanied by big smiles, squeaks, arm and leg thrusts, and general merriment.

POONTAIN:  A fountain of poo squirted from the baby's but in the direction of the diaper changer, occurring while holding up the legs during a diaper change.

BABPOLOGY:  For instance, Tilda has a knack for fraying my or her mom's nerves to the point of irrational sensitivity.  I find myself often needing to apologize to my wife because of some stupid comment I made after having my nerves frayed a bit too much.  The new necessary word for this sort apology is 'babpology'.  'babpology' is an apology made following a stupid act, statement, or comment that can be to a large degree 'blamed on' or accounted for by excessive exposure to a newborn.  Context:  "Oh, 'wife', please accept my babpology, its just that Tilda was crying for a half hour, I changed the diaper three times, and gave her two bottles, but she continued to cry so I burped her for a while and well, that's why I said the pancakes you made last week were so much better than the pancakes you made today.  Please accept my babpology."